Nothing means anything anymore. I wake up everyday just realizing I don’t give a shit about anything. I hope I can crawl back out of this. But I feel the worst I have felt in many moons. I feel like I’m just about to collapse in on myself. Machine mode is returning. I have no desire to eat or sleep. Oh, what I have become. A shell.
I have the deepest affection for intellectual conversations. The ability to just sit and talk. About love, about life, about anything, about everything. To sit under the moon with all the time in the world, the full-speed train that is our lives slowing to a crawl. Bound by no obligations, barred by no human limitations. To speak without regret or fear of consequence. To talk for hours and about what’s really important in life.
Discussing mouse bait options while setting traps in the garage.
Josh:I just don't think peanut butter is a good idea. The cheese cubes we have are like the perfect size.
Me:look..if you knew anything about mice you would know that once they see the cheese...they're gonna know it's a trap....plus the cheese cubes are mine. When the mice start paying the bills they can have fucking cheese cubes.